Living in the Questions
German poet Rilke once wrote:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. They are like locked rooms or books written in a foreign language. Do not now seek the answers for they cannot be given you. It is not yet time, you would not be able to live them.
The point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.
Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, find yourself living in the answer."
I find I can take quite a lot in this crazy life, but I lack stamina. I can take quite a lot for a limited period of time, and then I need to just stop and be still. I need to stop trying to solve every problem and find answers to every question.
Trying to solve every problem, to bring order to chaos, to keep everything under control is exhausting!
Recently in Deep we discussed the nature of trauma and we recognized that we experience trauma at those times in our lives when we are completely and utterly out of control; like if we are in a car accident, when someone dies, when control is taken away from us in an abusive or violent situation. In those moments when we have no control over what is happening to us we feel incompetent, ashamed that we actually let this happen, blame ourselves for being on that road, in this relationship, in this situation. Our natural response is to try and bring order to chaos around us, and within us; to try and control everything around us so our tattered emotions will follow suit.
That's the natural response, but the logical response is to let go.